Gay Book Launch (I am not making this up, either)

In the past, Firm staff and clients have made TV appearances, had movie roles, have modeled, have been featured in newspaper articles and magazine spreads… I mean, Firm folks have received ALL SORTS of media attention. But we have a new first: our Brad Wagner is now the subject of a book! Yes, like a real book. With pages and words. One that you can buy in a bookstore, or here www.readyornotstories.com.

Brad’s parents co-authored, Ready, Set, They’re Gay! to put to words the wonder and majesty of discovering their “little ones” are gay. Of course, Bradley and his sweetheart of a brother are the gay children under this microscope, and we can’t wait to read it. I foresee a lump in my throat in the near future.

So, that brings me to the party: there’s going to be a FAAAAB-ulous* book launch on May 21st at The W hotel and The Firm is a major sponsor. You must purchase tickets to get through the door, so go here or email Brad at bradleynwagner@gmail.com if you’re interested. Which you are, because this is one of those magical evenings where ‘philosophy’, ‘literature’, ‘heartwarming’, ‘party’ and ‘gay’ collide.

* “FAAAAB-ulous” doesn’t always mean gay. Sometimes it also means fabulous. You weirdo.

Doug Rides the Red Ribbon Ride (again, totally true)

One time I had the pleasure of watching Doug Melroe, Step Instructor Extraordinaire, do a little impromptu comedy routine on a spin bike. He was very animated, as I’m sure you can imagine, and he sang, “Milkshake” by Kelis while he pedaled jauntily, and later described with great detail what had been happening in his boxer shorts while he rode. His testicular anecdote was more colorful than I was comfortable with, but it was still quite funny.

Anyway, you can probably imagine how shocked I was to find out that Doug is participating in the Red Ribbon Ride this year. This is a four-day , 300-mile bike ride through Minnesota to raise money and awareness for local AIDS charities. Yeah. I frickin’ fell out of my chair when I heard that.

Doug and some other clients are organizing a Team Firm and we need riders and volunteers to help on the ride which is July 16th-19th.

The Firm Goes Greener

Our clients spoke and The Firm listened!

We’re getting greener all the time. In an effort to become more environmentally conscious, we are planning on phasing out wasteful use-once-and-throw-away things like earplugs and plastic bags in the locker room. Why fill landfills with that crap, right? Instead, we will be making available reusable “Firm” Laundry bags and earplugs in a “Firm” case. Better quality, better for the environment, better all around. Keep your eyes peeled for these changes around mid-April.

Feeling Squishy?

I’ve been hearing murmurs of swimsuit-talk at The Firm. People have already begun their annual freak-out with the scowling into mirrors and the pinching of inches. I say, do yourself a favor and enroll in Firm FIT! This is really the most efficient way to get your body ready for a bikini or a Speedo (or a wedding dress, or a class reunion, or divorce court). And the real beauty of Firm FIT is that it’s not a temporary fix: what you learn about fitness, nutrition and yourself in eight weeks you will apply to your whole life for the rest of your life.

So call us at the front desk 612-377-3003 and we’ll tell you everything you need to know.

Become a Fan

I have been really fretting about Facebook. I’ve actually had moments of panic where I didn’t know what to wear to a party because every cute outfit I own has already made an appearance in my Facebook photos. You see, we now share our lives to such an extent, we kind of feel like if it’s not documented on Facebook it didn’t happen.

So, being the forward-thinking super-progressive modern types, it should come as no surprise that the Firm now has it’s own place on Facebook. Show you care by becoming a fan.

This Page will keep you up to date (minute-by-minute!) on specific areas of interest at The Firm and can help you better explain to your friends what you are doing at The Firm, too. There are sweet little widgets like the schedule and you can see elect to see real-time updates from your favorite Firm people. Totally fun.

But that’s not the coolest part! Our crazy-smart computer peops over at U4EA have created a link between Twitter and Facebook. At the top of The Firm's page you’ll see a staff tab. Click it and you will see Tweets from Firm instructors, trainers and desk staff, streamed directly from Twitter. So you don’t have to open your own Twitter account to obsess. Finally!

Clear!

We now have an AED Automatic External Defibrillator located near the front desk. I am sure I don’t need to tell you that it is not a toy. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ve been fantasizing about playing ER ever since I heard this. Like, “She’s coding!... Clear!” Or whatever they say before they shoot the defibrillator at the patient.

Loose Clips Sink Ships

Will you please take a sec before your next spin class and give the bolts holding the clips to your spin shoes a tighten? If they start to loosen up, they can very easily come off and get stuck in the pedals. Forever! (Not really forever, but it’s a serious pain in the ass to get them out.)

Thai Massage

You know how somethings just go together like Ham and Eggs, or your favorite open toed sling backs and that one black strapless cocktail dress or Lisa Marie and spray tan. Now it's Yoga and Thai Massage. Our very own Amanda Blair who teaches Yoga and Firm FIT is now doing Thai Massage at The Firm. Thai Massage incorporates deep tissue, stretching and assisted yoga poses while using her elbows and knees and perhaps some red hot daggers if your back is really messed up. She was certified at The Yoga Center of Minnesota and clients can book appointments with Amanda by calling her directly at 612-382-2158.

You Already Look Great on the Outside...

But your insides are a mess! Bobbi Horner, our registered dietitian, to the rescue!

Bobbi is offering free Bio-Electrical Impedance Analysis, otherwise known as BIA testing, which will tell you your...

• Hydration Status
• Basal Metabolic Rate
• Body fat percentage
• Status of overall health

...and is a great starting point to overhauling your diet, which is a great way to get more out of your workouts and meeting your fitness goals.

And did I mention that it's FREE from now until May 20th? Yes, I think I did. Why aren't you calling her already?

Contact Bobbi Horner to reserve your spot at 612-377-4006

Road Rage in the Parking Lot (A True Story)

Here’s the scenario - car A and car B are parked on the side of the building next to each other. Car C is parked behind them in the middle of the parking lot.

The driver of Car A comes out to his car and is a little jacked up because he drank a red bull, wailed on his pecs, and took Cardio Strip Tease with Nina on Tuesday. Then in class he slipped on his feather boa and ripped his favorite thong. When he gets out to his car he can’t get out of the parking spot because of car C. In his red bull induced tantrum he goes postal and scrapes the side of car B and screeches out of the parking lot.

Driver of car B comes out after a fabulous Spin class with Brad and finds $2,100.00 worth of damage to the side of his car.

Now he is ready to go postal.
Here’s the dealio kids.

Please think about the cars on each side of you before you put it in park.

If someone is blocking you in, please get the make, model and license plate and ask the front desk to help you locate the owner. We will be happy to move the car for you. It’s quick easy and it eliminates road rage in the parking lot.